You just made me feel so damn special
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
