her vagine was all disorganized.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
my liver is dry heaving
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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