If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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