you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize