Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
