I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
