You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
