trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
