Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
