She is in my trunk
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
