What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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