I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
