I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just gargled with NyQuil
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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