I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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