i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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