whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I could fuck to npr.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
