I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.