I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.