Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.