that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?