WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
