we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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