im gay
i know
yea but for you.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
