I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
