try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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