He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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