just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
