never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
