before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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