fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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