drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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