I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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