Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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