TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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