her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
