we have pet lesbian snakes
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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