i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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