Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
