when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
