thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
