unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
