I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
