She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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