Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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