It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
