Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
