I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My dick has a subreddit
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
