Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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