The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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