Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
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Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
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So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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