If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
