So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
