i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
