Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
