I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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