Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Come on in and take your pants off
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