Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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