do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
