official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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