My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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